He Declines A Gift

Know ye whom it may concern that We, Norton I, Emperor of the United States and Protector of Mexico, have heard serious complaints that our wardrobe is a national disgrace and even His Majesty, the King of Pain, has had his sympathy excited so far as to offer us a suit of clothing, which we have a delicacy in accepting. Therefore we warn those whose duty it is to attend to these affairs that their scalps are in danger if our said need is unheeded.

Probable forgery, circa 1862